Cadet Leadership

A family salutes Military School

Dad: Gut wrenching decision pays off

Sending their teen-age son, Ian, to military school was the toughest decision Col. Garth Bloxham and his wife, Leslie, ever made. In letters to The Times on Ian's graduation, all three tell how it was, for them, a good choice.

Several years ago, I sat listening to a friend pour his heart out concerning the problems he was having with his teen-age children. Despite my outward appearance of concern, looking back I realize how smug I was wrapped in my pride at how well my wife and I had done raising our two teen-agers.

After all, ours was a strong two-parent family built on strong family values and commitment.

All that changed during my son's sophomore year. He did not make the move from Pennsylvania to Madison very well. His motivation started to drift and he lost his self-esteem. As he tried to break into the cliques of kids who have grown up together, he came to the realization that the only group that would "accept'' him was the "smokers.'' Remember them? The group across the street, just off the school grounds. They accept anyone as long as you have a cigarette. By the end of his sophomore year, it was not just the smoking. I was concerned that given his current trend line, Ian would not graduate from high school and would soon be in trouble with the police. By the end of the summer, Ian had "earned'' the right to attend military school.

Sending Ian to military school was probably the hardest decision my wife and I have ever made. A product of the Citadel and spending my entire life in the military (to include almost three years involved in basic training), I was well aware of the lifelong impact of the decision my wife and I were making. I clearly knew that while something would be gained (discipline, values, self-respect), something else would also be lost (innocence and youth). It was hard love the day we dropped Ian off at Lyman Ward Military Academy in Camp Hill. Both his mother and I cried most of the way home.

I had a lot of trouble coming to grips with the fact that I was turning the raising of my son over to strangers. I realize that in fact I had turned my son over not to a military school, but to a man I'd never met but had "known'' all my life. Sergeant Major Cecil Wall is a retired Army non-commissioned officer. A drill sergeant by trade, he has spent the better part of his life molding the sons of America.

That August day when I first actually met him, as far as I was concerned, he had spent his entire life preparing for the moment I turned my son over to him. Hard as a rock, outspoken, blunt, rough on the edges, but balanced with a heart of gold; he gave my son what I could not: a totally structured environment, unlimited opportunity to grow and improve himself, and most importantly, solid advice from someone who was not his father.

Because Sgt. Maj. Wall and I share the same Army experience and values (loyalty, duty, respect, selfless service, honor, integrity and personal courage), I never doubted his judgment or intent. During the past two years, I watched this man slowly rebuild my son's self-esteem. I watched Ian, under his personal tutelage, earn cadet rank one step at a time, culminating in his becoming the Alpha Company commander and winning the highest award at Lyman Ward, Honor Company.

Last week, as I watched Ian walk across the stage with his diploma in hand, my heart overflowed with pride. I know how hard this has been for him. I will think back on two years ago and the hard-love decision he forced his mother and me to make. I will think about his future at Auburn and how close he came to not going to college at all. But mostly, I will think of the debt of gratitude I owe Sgt. Maj. Wall for the hours of effort he invested in my son. He has been my son's mentor and surrogate father for two years. He has given me back not just a son, but a young man, ready to face the world.

Mom: Witness to son's turnarounds

Sending their teen-age son, Ian, to military school was the toughest decision Col. Garth Bloxham and his wife, Leslie, ever made. In letters to The Times on Ian's graduation, all three tell how it was, for them, a good choice.

My son, Cadet Captain Ian T. Bloxham, graduated Friday, May 28 from Lyman Ward Military Academy in Camp Hill. He has been going there since he was 16 and a junior in high school. This was not a decision that his father and I made lightly but it was without a doubt the best decision we ever could have made.

We are a military family, with two children. Our daughter, Erin, is currently a junior at University of North Alabama. My husband, Garth, is an active duty Army officer. We had been assigned to the Huntsville area before and were delighted to come back the summer of 1996. This area had long since been the place where we hoped to retire. It was Erin's senior year and Ian's sophomore year, making another move in two years for our high school children.

Garth traveled extensively in his job and although the kids and I were close, I found that I was having trouble keeping tabs on Ian's activities . . .

Eventually Ian started joining, by our standards, the "wrong group'' to hang out with. He started sneaking out at night, leading to lots of toilet-papering of homes, some damage of personal property and the theft of some cigars from a local grocery store. The problem with Ian was he was a failure at being bad. He always got caught . . . . He did more community work, apologies to other parents and yard removal of toilet paper than one can imagine. He was grounded more times than I can count. On top all of this there was a lack of motivation and no real interest with schoolwork.

How could such a fine young man, one who became an Eagle Scout at the age of 14, lose his momentum in such a short time?

We decided the only way to go was to send him to military school. He had such poor self-esteem by this time anyway, we decided what could it hurt except us as his parents. We love our son very much so this was a terrifically hard decision. We interviewed with Lyman Ward Military Academy (LWMA). We were extremely impressed with the small size of the school and the chance for Ian to receive a quality education with a really impressive faculty in a very structured environment. He was accepted for the 1997-1998 school year.

The first three weeks we were unable to call him, as he was known as a "scrub.'' This is the time that the real military structure begins. We were able to write letters, as was he, and many went back and forth. Our son was one of the fortunate ones to make it through and we were invited to "scrub'' graduation.

It was after this first hurdle that his life began to change. Ian became hungry for rank and immediately decided he was not going to stay a private for long. He managed to work his way totally up through all the enlisted ranks until he became an officer and was assigned to be the company commander of Alpha Company his senior year. All of this was achieved by following rules and regulations, doing his schoolwork and listening to his TAC (a non commissioned officer, retired from the U.S. Army assigned to each company and barracks). . . .

Military high school is not a reform school. I myself had that misconception when we took Ian there. I was concerned until I realized that the Academy quickly weeds through all the cadets that won't cut it and follow the orders. Yes, they wear uniforms, get up early, march to class, shine brass, eat together, worship together, study together and turn their lights out together.

What a great experience he has had. No, he did not have dates to go on, he did not get to go out drinking or mudding with his buddies on Friday and Saturday nights. Instead he was working hard, really hard to become someone. He was able to come home on open weekends if he made good grades. Ian made the Dean's list almost the entire two years. He never missed a weekend where he was able to come home because of grades. What a terrific accomplishment. He never would have done that in a non-structured environment.

All of his hard work paid off when it came time to apply for college. He applied to three and was accepted to all. He had to choose between The Citadel, in South Carolina, The University of North Alabama and Auburn University. He chose Auburn, where he has also received a leadership scholarship. Ian has been accepted in their landscape design program, a program he is a natural for. This is a dream come true for him as two years ago he didn't have the grades to go to any of these colleges.

Do we as parents have any illusions that our "perfect'' young man will continue to be perfect out in the real world? Of course not! We've both been to college ourselves many years ago. Ian has an advantage with his training however. His father and I believe there isn't any situation he can't handle, and we respect his decision to make the right ones. We gave the Academy a child. What they gave us in return was a fine young man.

We thought long and hard about giving up our son to a military boarding school and letting him go through all the rigorous training and one-on-one education ahead of him. What we never realized was it wasn't our decision to make in the end. It was his, and only Ian could decide if he would go the distance. He was on his own. . . .

Ian, we are so proud of you and so blessed to have you as a son. Thanks for going the distance; you had a great support team, including your parents, sister, grandparents, and the phone company.

But in the end, you did it all yourself.

Son: Gives heartfelt thanks

Sending their teen-age son, Ian, to military school was the toughest decision Col. Garth Bloxham and his wife, Leslie, ever made. In letters to The Times on Ian's graduation, all three tell how it was, for them, a good choice.

My name is Ian Thomas Bloxham, I am 18 years old and I have just recently graduated from Lyman Ward Military Academy. Lyman Ward is located in Camp Hill, and is for boys, grades 6-12.

There are three main reasons that young men get sent to military school: They are: attitude, grades, and discipline. I, however, am one of the unique ones - my father is an Army colonel, so discipline has never lacked in my life. For me it was grades and lack of motivation. Two years ago I attended Bob Jones (High School) in Madison. There I was an average student. I never did anything to stand out; to be quite honest I was bored. Grades were not my top priority and I wasn't being challenged; also I started getting into trouble more and more. It was then, at the end of my sophomore year, that my family decided to send me to military school.

Upon my arrival I suddenly found myself in a structured, well-disciplined environment. My day started at 04:30 and I didn't find my way back to the bed until 11 p.m. For the first time it wasn't adults telling me what to do; instead it was my peers. Yes, young men my age in the same predicament that I was, trying to change their lives.

I instantly decided that I would do my very best at this academy, and that is what I did. I left my old friends behind, started to focus on my grades and rebuilding my family life. At the end of my junior year I had many achievements, including NCO of the year, best platoon leader, and best Ranger. I also had made the dean's list 6 out of 7 times. This is something that was unheard of from me.

I returned for my senior year as the company commander of Alpha Company. I had 42 men in my company, grades 9-12. I was responsible for all of their actions, in and outside of the barracks. Each and every day, I was presented with nonstop leadership scenarios, which require quick thinking and answers.

To guide me through all of this was Sgt. Maj. Cecil Wall. This man has devoted his life to changing young men's lives. And when I say that military school has changed my life. I am really meaning that Sgt. Maj. Wall has. He was a father, mentor, a friend, and always had a lesson that needed to be taught. But most importantly he was mean. Thirty years in the military taught him what proficiency is all about. It is under his watchful eye that I have prospered. When you ask me about military school I can only say positive things. In two years I only made two Cs. I cannot thank my parents enough, and I love them both very much. I am prepared for anything that life can throw at me.

I have made some real friends, and have grasped some values and ideas that can never leave me. I feel I have been blessed with the opportunities that I have had.

My message to anyone that reads this is that life is all about choices, and you have the power to grasp it with both hands, by the throat and live!

Webmasters Note: The following articles appeared in The Huntsville Times on June 5, 1995 and appear here with the permission of The Huntsville Times and the authors.